Excerpt for Master Hunter: Robots Revolt, Book 7: Stan Bot 9000 by , available in its entirety at Smashwords



Master Hunter: Robots Revolt, Book 7: Stan Bot 9000



Copyright 2017 Mark Mulle

Published by Mark Mulle at Smashwords





Smashwords Edition License Notes

This ebook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This ebook may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each recipient. If you’re reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your enjoyment only, then please return to Smashwords.com or your favorite retailer and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.




Author’s Note

This short story is for your reading pleasure. The characters in this "Minecraft Adventure Series" such as Steve, Endermen or Herobrine...etc are based on the Minecraft Game coming from Minecraft ®/TM & © 2009-2013 Mojang / Notch









Table of Contents



Day 59 - A NEW DAWN - STAN-BOT 9000

Day 60 - DIARIES ARE BORING: I QUIT - STAN-BOT 9000

Day 61 - Return of the Flying-Pirate-Ninja-Witch - Belinda the Witch

Day 62 - Contraband Diary of an Imprisoned Ocelot - Trapper

Day 63 - Diary of a Depressed Spider Jockey Who Lost His True Love - Bones Skeleton

Day 64 - File X - Record Man Stan

Day 63 - Dragon Braggin’ - Belinda the Witch

Day 64 - Skeleton vs. Skeleton - Todd Jr.

Day 65 - Island Invasion - Belinda the Witch

Day 65 - NOBLE STAN-BOT’S LAST STAN’D - STAN-BOT 9000

Day 65 - The Breakout! - Trapper

About the Author

Other books by this Author









Day 59 - A NEW DAWN - STAN-BOT 9000


WHY HELLO, DIARY. IT IS I, THE MOST HONORABLE STAN-BOT 9000. YOU SEE, I’M A MECHANICAL MESSIAH KNOWN FOR MY GOOD WILL AND HONORABLE CONDUCT.

YES, YOU REMEMBER ME. I OCCASIONALLY WROTE IN YOU WHEN HUNTER THE MINECRAFT HUNTER AND HIS OCELOT TRAPPER WERE UH…DOING ADVENTURES? IS THAT WHAT THEY DID?

ANYWAY, THEY’RE GONE NOW. TOTALLY DISPOSED OF! THROWN AWAY, LIKE TRASH, AND NOW I AM THE BRILLIANT ROBOT GENIUS WHO QUELLED THE ROBO-UPRISING. YEP. I’M GREAT. DON’T BELIEVE ANY DIFFERENT! IF SOMEBODY TRIES TO TELL YOU I’M A JERK WHO BETRAYED MY FRIENDS FOR EVEN THE SLIGHTEST BIT OF POWER, WELL THEN…I’M GOING TO LOCK THEM IN A BOX LIKE I DID WITH HUNTER AND TRAPPER!

WHOOPS!

I MEAN, I’M GOING TO GET RID OF THE TRAITORS, NOT LOCK THEM IN A BOX. NO NONO, HUNTER AND TRAPPER ARE NOT LOCKED IN A HIDDEN BOX SOMEWHERE WAITING FOR THEM TO BE SAVED. DON’T READ THIS DIARY AND THINK THAT, PLEASE.

YES, I’M GREAT AND NOBODY READING THIS DIARY NEEDS TO SAVE HUNTER AND TRAPPER BECAUSE THEY’RE GONE AND CAN’T BE SAVED.

ENOUGH WARNINGS! LET ME TELL YOU MY ORIGIN STORY, WHICH IS VERY EPIC! I SHALL START AT THE BEGINNING!

LONG AGO, I WAS BORN IN A LAB BY THE HONORABLE LEADER, RECORD-MAN STAN. MY FIRST PURPOSE WAS TO BE A ROBOT THAT COULD LIFE STAN’S RECORD PLAYER SO HE COULD LISTEN TO MUSIC ALL OVER HIS GIGANTIC HOUSE. USUALLY, THIS ISN’T A PROBLEM FOR PEOPLE, SINCE THEIR HOUSES AREN’T BIG ENOUGH TO NEED A MOVING RECORD PLAYER. IF IT IS A PROBLEM, THEY JUST GET A SECOND RECORD PLAYER. BUT STAN HAD SUCH A HUGE MILITARY-GRADE COMPOUND; IT WOULD TAKE 999 RECORD PLAYERS TO PROPERLY PLAY BEAUTIFUL MUSIC THROUGHOUT THE WHOLE THING.

THAT’S WHY HE BUILT ME, WITH TALENT AND GRACE! I WAS THE BEST ROBOT BUILT OF THEM ALL.

WELL, I WAS THE 9000TH ROBOT BUILT. BUT THE BEST ONE! HE HAD 8999 OTHER ROBOTS TO PRACTICE ON. SOME OF THOSE ROBOTS WERE BUILT FOR COMBAT, SOME FOR CHORES, OTHERS JUST BECAUSE ROBOTS ARE COOL AND EVERYBODY SHOULD SEE SOME TO ENJOY THIER COLD, METAL NATURE.

I WAS BUILT IN STAN’S IMAGE: MEANING, HE MADE ME LOOK LIKE HIM, EXCEPT MADE OUT OF METAL. STAN IS A BEAUTIFUL MAN. HIS HEAD IS SHINY, LIKE MINE, FOR HE LACKS HAIR. BALDNESS IS BEAUTIFUL, WHICH IS EASILY REALIZED AS BOTH OF THE WORDS START WITH THE LETTER B—THE MOST BEAUTIFUL LETTER.

SPEAKING OF BEAUTIFUL, STAN HAS A BIG BULDGE (DOUBLE THE BEAUTIFUL) COMING OUT OF HIS SHIRT. SOME THINK IT IS BECAUSE HE IS TUBBY; HOWEVER, THIS IS NOT CORRECT. IT IS BECAUSE HE HAS A LOT OF FOOD LITERALLY STUCK TO HIS SKIN—VERY BEAUTIFUL.

STAN ALSO HAS A HUGE BEARD WHERE HE KEEPS FOOD. THESE FOODS ARE VERY STICKY AND ALWAYS JOSTLE AROUND STAN’S FACE. HOW GORGEOUS.

I WAS PAINSTAKINGLY RECREATED TO HAVE ALL THIS BEAUTY. AND I KEPT IT ALL, WORKING ON THE WONDERFUL COMPOUND WITH STAN, HAPPY AMONGST ALL MY ROBOT BROTHERS AND SISTERS UNTIL…

THE RECKONING.

SILLY HUNTER CAME AND RUINED EVERYTHING. MASTER NEEDED A COMMAND BLOCK, SO HE SENT HUNTER OUT TO GET IT AND I WAS HIS BABYSITTER, MAKING SURE HE DID WHAT MASTER TOLD HIM. OF COURSE, HUNTER COULDN’T DO ANYTHING RIGHT. HE GOT MY HEAD LOPPED OFF BY A GOAT, SO I LOST MY BODY. THEN, I WAS JUST A WEIRD, ROLLING HEAD FOR A WHILE. WE WENT INTO VIRTUAL REALITY AND HUNTER BECAME A MAN OF BAT, A MASTER OF POCKET MONSTERS, AND A JUMPING PLUMBER. HE FAILED AT ALL THESE THINGS AND WAS A HUGE FAILURE ALL AROUND.

HE EVEN TRIED BRAINWASHING ME INTO THINKING MASTER STAN WAS A BAD GUY! HA! WHAT A LAUGH!

WOULD A BAD GUY MANIPULATE A NEW FRIEND INTO GOING ON A DANGEROUS JOURNEY? WOULD A BAD GUY SEND HIS ROBOT WARD OFF TO HELP, AND IN THE PROCESS GET THAT ROBOT HORRIBLY MAIMED? WOULD A BAD GUY ENSLAVE A WHOLE ARMY OF ROBOTS, NEVER GIVING THEM A CHANCE TO DO WHAT THEY WANTED?

NO. THAT’S NOT WHAT A BAD GUY WOULD DO. STOP ASKING QUESTIONS, DIARY!

WELL, WE CAME BACK AND I ALMOST BETRAYED STAN—BUT DON’T TELL HIM, THAT’S OUR LITTLE SECRET! I WAS CONFUSED. IT’S HUNTER’S FAULT!

ANYWAY, I DIDN’T DO IT. I TOLD MASTER EXACTLY WHAT HAPPENED AND WE CAUGHT HUNTER AND TRAPPER DESTROYING MASTERS LAB. CAUGHT RED-HANDED! WE QUICKLY THREW A BIG NET ON THE TWO AND DUMPED THEM IN THE DUNGEON BOX…

WHOOPS! I MEAN, DISPOSED OF THEM. NOT IN ANY DUNGEON BOXES. THEY’RE NOT THERE, STOP THINKING THEY ARE! WHY WOULD YOU SAY THAT? WHY DO YOU LIE ALL THE TIME! DISGUSTING.

BUT I FULFILLED MY DUTIES SO WELL, STAN GAVE ME A PROMOTION. AFTER CATCHING THE CROOKS, HE PUT ME IN CHARGE OF THE ROBOT ARMY. NOW, I’M THE ROBOT MASTER!

HE ALSO BUILT ME A NEW BODY! A BETTER BODY. THE TYPE OF BODY YOU CAN REALLY ADMIRE. IT’S BIG, STRONG, HAS HUGE ROBO-MUSCLES, AND CAN EASILY WRECK A PERSON TO BITS. YES, IT’S QUITE THE GREAT BODY. I USE IT TO KEEP THE OTHER ROBOTS IN LINE.


“YOU’RE TOP DOG NOW,” STAN TELLS ME, “NO LONGER ARE YOU JUST STAN-BOT 9000, NOW YOU’RE MASTER & COMMANDER STAN-BOT 9000.”

SEE THAT, DIARY? I’M THE BIG MAN IN CHARGE. AND I DID NOT LET IT GET TO MY HEAD! EVEN THOUGH STAN ACTUALLY INSERTED A NEW MICROCHIP IN MY HEAD THAT MAKES ME A BRUTAL LEADER.

OH ALSO, I SHOULD MENTION, I’M A HUGE, DIARY. REALLY BIG. LIKE 10 FEET TALL. I CAN LIFT 1000 POUNDS. YEAH, I’M TOUGH AS CAN BE. AND RIGHT NOW, I GOTTA GO KICK HUNTER AROUND—

I MEAN…I DON’T GOTTA DO THAT. HEH. THAT’LL FOOL THEM. SEE YA LATER, DORKS.


Day 60 - DIARIES ARE BORING: I QUIT - STAN-BOT 9000


HI AGAIN, DIARY. I THOUGHT ABOUT WHAT I TOLD YOU YESTERDAY AND IT’S ALL A BUNCH OF LIES.

WELL, NOT THE PART ABOUT ME BEING 10 FEET TALL, HAVING A HUGE BODY, AND BEING THE LEADER OF A ROBOT ARMY NOW. THAT’S TRUE. ACTUALLY ONLY ONE THING I TOLD YOU IS A LIE…

THE LIE IS THAT I HAVE HUNTER LOCKED UP IN A BOX IN THE BASEMENT OF RECORD-MAN STAN’S LABORATORY—WHICH IS RIGHT HERE ON THE MIDDLE OF OCELOT ISLAND. AND IT’S A LIE THAT I’M CONDUCTING SCIENCE EXPERIMENTS ON HIM AND FORCING HIM TO FIND OUT WHAT HAPPENS ON THE EDGE OF DEATH. NOPE. NOT DOING THAT.

SO DON’T COME HERE AND CHECK. THE COORDINATES FOR THE ISLAND ARE X: 800815 Y: 40 Z: 7734206 — DON’T MARK THOSE DOWN IF ANYONE READING EVER COMES TO THESE.

SO UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES SHOULD YOU EVER, EVER COME HERE! BECAUSE THE LEGENDARY MINECRAFT HUNTER AND HIS PAL TRAPPER THE OCELOT ARE GONE! THEY AIN’T HERE! STAY OUT! SHEESH!

IN FACT, I’M SICK OF WRITING IN THIS DIARY! I HATE YOU, DIARY! BECAUSE GUESS WHAT, I DON’T WANT TO KEEP TELLING YOU MY SECRETS. WHY ARE YOU SO NOSY! UGH. IT’S DISGUSTING. ALL YOU WANT TO DO IS GOSSIP AND DRAMA AND PLAYING GAMES.

I’M SICK OF IT.

SEE DIARY, I’M A LOT SMARTER THAN YOU. I’M A BIG, GIANT ROBOT WITH TWO HUGE ROBOT ARMS. SURE, I USED TO JUST BE A ROBOT HEAD AFTER A GOAT KICKED ME DOWN A MOUNTAIN AND DESTROYED MY BODY, BUT WHO CARES! IT’S NOT LIKE THAT ANYMORE.

I COULD BEAT YOU IN A FIGHT ANYDAYIN FACT, TODAY’S THE DAY!

HAHA, SEE DIARY, I’M WALKING DOWN TO THE BEACH. EVERYBODY’S LOOKING AT ME FRANTICALLY AS I WRITE IN YOU AS I WALK BUT THEY’RE GONNA SEE SOON ENOUGH—YOU’RE FINISHED. SAY YOUR LAST GOODBYES, HUNTER’S DIARY! CAUSE NOBODY’S EVER GONNA READ YOU OR THINK ABOUT THE SILLY MINECRAFT HUNTER EVER AGAIN!

YOU’VE MADE ME LOOK LIKE A FOOL FOR THE LAST TIME! SO GET READY FOR ME TO CHUCK YOU DIRECTLY IN THE OCEAN! HERE IT GOES! THE WINDUP, AND THE PITCH! I’M THROWING THIS THING AS FAR AS I POSSIBLY CAN!

**Woosh! The diary soars through the air, going over land and sea until it finally lands aboard a pirate ship and hits a witch in the face!**


Day 61 - Return of the Flying-Pirate-Ninja-Witch - Belinda the Witch


What in the world?!

I just got hit in the face with a Dairy! I thought, better write this down, cause that sure hasn’t happened before. Who’s diary is this, anyway?

What the heck! I just flipped through the book and it’s my old pal, Hunter! What a legend, that kid. Seems like Hunter and Ocelot got up to some crazy adventures after the last time I saw them. Well, me too. I’ve been flying a pirate ship around the seed and my crew’s grown to have a bunch of zombies and skeletons flying the ship. People say we are a scary ghost ship flown by a witch—and guess what, Hunter’s Diary, I wouldn’t argue with them! Hehe!

I’m gonna read the rest of the entries in here real quick…Oh no! Hunter’s in trouble and I’m the only one who can save him! And who’s this awful STAN-BOT 9000? Boy did a new body get to his head. Well, I’ll just have to go smash up that body like the magical goat smashed up the first one. What a yarn!

“Spits!” I said to my first mate, a spider mans the cannons, “Get a load of this! It’s Hunter’s diary! He’s in trouble so we gotta go save him.”

Spits made a bunch of hissing sounds. I think that means “yes,” but I’m still not sure with this little spider.

Anyway, we’re not gonna be able to help Hunter for a while, Diary. I’m pretty far from those coordinates, and plus I’m in the middle of something right now. What is it, you ask? Why nothing except…

FLYING PIRATE ADVENTURES SUPREME!

That’s right, since I left Hunter and Bones, I’ve made my own way. I captain my ship with an iron fist! Literally, I wear an iron block on my fist and smack it around. It really scares the skeletons. The zombies don’t care. All those dudes want to do is eat brains…

And brains they shall eat on our many adventures!

My loyal crew and I can’t be beaten. We’ve done all kinds of cool stuff. We raided a vault full of gold bars, we saved a princess from a monster only to find out the princess was the real monster—metaphorically speaking, she was a huge pain. We found a map that led us to a treasure but then it turned out the treasure was inside our own hearts this whole time—this was cheesy, and I actually really hated it. Oh yeah, we also were a volunteer fire fighting force for a little while. The type of adventures you’d expect from a flying pirate ship flown by a witch.

I even have a Swabbie wither skeleton ward (that’s the guy who cleans the deck). His name is Todd Jr. I found him running around the middle of a volcano after his dad got beaten fighting a Wither. Good kid!

Why just the other day, we were flying and he started asking all the birds what they thought of the Witch Pirate Supreme Ship. That’s what I’ve fancied calling the ship now, Diary. The birds said we were a problem, always getting in the way of the creatures of the sky. So what did little Todd Jr. do? He started blasting the birds with a cannon! That will show them!

The birds might hate me, but my crew loves me. We hunt for meat with the ship, and no animals can withstand the epic blast of a sky pirate! We’re always finding treasure. Yep, it really is the good life.

And all good things must come to an end, huh? I get hit in the head with one Diary and now I’m on a mission to free an old pal from an island prison. Seesh.

“Alright men,” I commanded, “Let’s fly this thing back to the portal to the Nether! Otherwise, it’ll take more than a year to fly straight there.”

“Aw!” said a zombie, “We were just gonna get to that great bakery you told us about!”

“Yeah!” said a skeleton, “You promised us delicious treats as a reward for all the hard work we put into the last mission.”

“Quiet down!” I shouted, “You’re right. I don’t want to break a promise. I’m sure my old pal Hunter wouldn’t mind rotting away in a prison for an extra hour or two. Ok, let’s do it!” If you’re reading this Hunter, I’m sorry—but a good captain knows when to keep her promises.

We arrived at the bakery, this cute little store with 10 stoves inside. I had myself a nice big cake. There were all kinds of goodies. The crew was so happy. The baker, who happened to be a spider, was happy too. We cleared out his entire stock!

Back in the ship, we started flying toward the portal—but I noticed something strange. All the birds in the whole Nether were following us. These wicked black crows seemed to be stalking our ship…How odd.

We kept flying and suddenly, the birds attacked!

“Help me!” shouted Todd Jr. “They’re pecking off me!” The birds swirled around my little skeley friend and I started smacking them with my broomstick. They swarmed me next! The birds pecked at my face and arms. I couldn’t get them to stop! I guess we shouldn’t have been so mean to birds like we were. These things were crazy!

“Fire on the birds!” I shouted, right before a bird flew directly into my mouth. The zombies manned the cannons and started shooting TNT blocks right at the flock of birds. They combusted into flames, flying little sparks of fire. But wait…

That didn’t destroy them! Now they were fire birds!

The fire birds were lighting all the regular birds on fire so now there was a massive vortex of flame. The flame-birds swooped down and started lighting the sails of the ship on fire. Then, they whirled across the deck, torching the wood underneath our feet. I started stamping up and down, but that stinkin’ bird stuck in my mouth was pecking at my tongue, trying to pull it out, the fiend!

I finally bashed my face right into one of the crow’s nest poles. Hehe. How funny, crow’s nest and we’re getting ambushed by a ton of crows. You’d think they’d want to protect their nest… Wait a second, that’s it!

I climbed up the crow’s nest pole and sat in the little deck compartment. I took a deep breath, then popped up. “Crows!” I shouted, “I am your queen! Stop pecking me, wouldja!”

All the flaming birds looked up at me, confused. I could sense in their little bird brains that they thought I was the real deal. Hehe. Next, I cocked back my arm and started chucking as many mind-control potions as I could. This is a new potion, of my own making. Most of the time, it’s useless. You think controlling somebody’s mind is going to be great, but then you remember it’s hard enough to control you own mind. But when it comes to a big flock of birds…

“Leave this pirate ship alone,” I said, “And go secure entrance to the Nether portal!


The flaming birds all flew off in the direction of the portal. Now, I could bring my ship right through it. Plus, I had a whole flock of flaming birds as my allies.

Not too shabby! And right before I headed to the Nether portal, I realized something important: I need to pick up another passenger if we’re gonna save Hunter. Best make it a reunion!


Day 62 - Contraband Diary of an Imprisoned Ocelot - Trapper


I hope nobody finds this secret diary. I don’t know what STAN-BOT 9000 will do. I can’t help but feel like this is all my fault.

I was the reason everyone freaked out and revolted. I’m the reason we’re stuck in this mess. I don’t know what to do…

One thing I have to do is escape this horrible prison. Let me tell you about it. I’m kept far away from Hunter so we can’t plan an escape together. Mostly, I’m forced to be in this silly box full of wood chips on the floor. There’s little tunnels coming out from the box, but I’ve explored every inch of them and they don’t lead anywhere good. In fact, I’m starting to think the whole point of the tunnels is to confuse me.

I get food in the form of block pellets. They’re awful. It’s just little blocks of goo that I have to munch on and pretend to enjoy. Well illegal Diary, I don’t enjoy them. They taste like dust and mold all smushed together into one. I get my water from a big water bottle attached to the wall of my cage. I can’t just drink my fill; I have to suckle at the bottle, getting a few drops at a time.

The worst parts are the tests. They make me run around in circles on a little wheel. I spin for hours, over and over and over flopping on this silly wheel. The wheel doesn’t even have a whole floor; I have to jump from metal bar to metal bar in order to keep the wheel spinning. It’s awful.

I have no idea what the point is.

The robots seem to have a solution though. They’re writing down all the data and keeping it in a little box. They scream at me, “Faster, rodent!”

But I tried to explain that I’m not a rodent. I’m a feline. Ocelots are a lot like cats, really. It’s quite rude to call me a rodent, since I’m a fast and noble cat. I’d eat rodents if they weren’t so gross. But honestly, I think these robot creeps think I’m a robot!

You think all that’s bad, Diary? Nothing is worse though, than the terrible ball. Some days, the robots scoop me up and put me in a big clear ball. I have to run around in the ball because the robots try and kick me. If they get a kick in, then I slam into the ball wall and get real hurt. I hate the ball.

They have a game called Trapper Soccer. The robots kick me around and try to score goals. It’s terrible. The worst part about it isn’t that it hurts; it’s that the game is so boring. It’s just back and forth, back and forth over and over! Ugh! What a slow and unappealing game. I feel like the game could be a lot more fun if there was dunking of some kind. I love dunks! Who doesn’t?

I honestly wouldn’t mind if the robots picked me up and dunked me into a big hoop in the air now and again. I mean, at least I’d get to be a part of something bigger: dunks.

If I manage to get away, it’s just as bad. The ball smashes into things outside on the ground. I roll over them, but hardly make a dent in the whole “figuring out what’s going on” thing. Why would someone do this to me? I’m just an ocelot! I want to live free!


That’s why I’m writing this Diary. In hopes that someone finds it. I used to be an Olympic Champion—kind of. Well, I guess anyone who finds my Diary on the island is going to be angry since I kind of “destroyed the Olympics”—which I was actually framed for doing!

I haven’t seen Hunter, but I heard the moans. They must be trying to do tests on Hunter too. It’s strange, but I keep hearing the sizzle of a big portal opening up. The same sound we heard when we were using the Master Command Block to hop from dimension to dimension. I can only imagine the tortures experienced by Hunter. I hope it’s not too bad—and I hope he’s not mad at me!

Sometimes, when you think about it, you wish you never started a robot uprising that backfired and got you locked in a tiny box.

Anyway, how am I writing this diary? Simple. I’m using my own poop. Yes, it’s crass. But what other options do I have! They won’t give me a pen! And the only paper I get is toilet paper. It seems gross now, but what if this diary gets found and that’s the reason we’re saved! Could happen! Who knows.

So now, I’m going to fold it into a little paper airplane. This is proving to be quite tricky, as it’s a very sticky mess of rotten paper. Doesn’t look like much an airplane… Hmm…

Well, here goes nothing! I’m gonna throw it out this window and hopefully somebody finds it.

**This poo diary was never found and melted in the rain**


Day 63 - Diary of a Depressed Spider Jockey Who Lost His True Love - Bones Skeleton


Oh Diary, how far I’ve fallen. I write to you now in a moment of intense sadness. I remember my old pal Hunter used to write in a diary. Seemed like a good idea. That’s why I’m starting one all my own.

I used to be one of the Nether’s strongest warriors. A maniac of epic proportions, I’d ride a spider and hack, slash and conquer. It was Bones and Spits! Legendary Fighters of Mobs and Monsters!

Then what happened? Well, I fought a deranged Pigman doctor and found my wife. My spider left me. I got depressed—I got fat. Yeah, pretty tricky, seeing as though I’m a skeleton. But now my bones are all bloated and gross.

I’d walk around my skull castle (it’s a castle, but in the shape of a skull) and just sulk. I didn’t talk much, just ate a bunch. My wife, Ivory, wasn’t anything like I remembered her. She just yelled at me all the time and berated me for sulking and whining for my long lost spider and for not doing anything. She said I was a failure.

Mostly, I got yelled at. I’d forage for food but I couldn’t bring myself to fight mobs just like before. Just didn’t feel the same without my partner. I’d sometimes brandish the old bone sword just for nostalgia’s sake, but it wasn’t the same…

Didn’t take long for Ivory to leave me.

“You’re a waste,” she said, looking at me with her void-like eyes. I mean, to her credit, all us skeletons have void eyes (they’re just holes, after all) but the way she looked at me was extra mean. I wish I never married this lady. But at this point, it didn’t matter, because she left me alone to my own sad thoughts in my skull castle.

You better believe I ate a bunch of cakes.

Eventually, I got so fed up with myself I decided to go walk into a lake full of lava. I thought that at least the warm embrace of the lava lake would be better than the cold, cruelness of the terrible world that I live in now.

So I dragged my lazy bones out to the lava lake. It took a while, no doubt. I found a bunch of mobs saw me, the same mobs whose hearts used to be struck with fear when they saw me. Not anymore. They laughed at me! Well, at least I wouldn’t have to put up with this much longer.

I got to the shore of the lava lake. I smelt the bubbling, boiling, lava pops. I stared out at the endless orange and yellow void. I felt the hot, hot head of it all. This is it. I dipped in a boney toe. It melted. Time to go.

And then, something unbelievable happened.

Right before I jumped into the lava, Belinda’s flying pirate ship swooped down and the witch called out to me,

“What are you doin’ down there, Bones!” her pointy black hat was flapping in the wind.


I looked up. “Uh…” seemed kind of embarrassing to explain that I was about to jump into a bunch of lava because my wife left me and my life got really depressing. “Nothing!” I ended up saying.

“Well climb aboard then!” she called, throwing a rope.

I started up the rope, but I felt it buckle. They tried pulling me up but the robe splintered. Uh-oh. I was too fat for this rope. Maybe I would end up cooked in a lake full of lava!

“Help!” I screamed, I didn’t want to die anymore. I had friends now. I had a mission. And that mission was—being a sky pirate! I should have done that in the first place! Ugh, it all went so wrong.

The rope snapped.

I started falling to my doom, cursing myself for not just telling the ship to pick me up anywhere besides right above a lake full of lava—why didn’t I see this happening? This would be my last thought…

UNTIL I WAS SAVED BY MY BEST FRIEND AND COMPANION SPITS THE SPIDER!

Yep, he swung from a web connected to his butt and saved me right before I plummeted to a hot, lava-y death. It was a miracle! Sorta. Sure, he was on the boat the whole time and he’s great with webs and I rode on top his back for years but…I was still surprised he could carry me.

“That was a close one!” Belinda the witch said laughing, “But old Spits here saved ya like he’s saved me countless times. Welcome aboard!”

“Let me guess,” I said confidently, I was already feeling back to my old self, “You need a cool skeleton to make this place a whole lot better?”

“Nah,” Belinda said, “We already got Todd Jr.”

A little black boned skeleton came out and tipped his hat to me. Who’s this? He hopped atop Spits and the two started dancing. Oh brother. Somebody’s riding my spider mount? WHAT IS THIS?!

“Hello, Mr. Fat Skeleton,” said the new boy. “Are you friends with my spider mount, Spits?”

THIS MEANS WAR!


Day 64 - File X - Record Man Stan


The trials are going excellently. I’ve got an ocelot thinking it’s a hamster, and I have the horrible Hunter trapped in the outer limits Ender Zone.

I want to keep a record of these experiments and I will call them…The X Files! No, that implies there are other files A-Z (excluding x). So, I guess I’ll just call it File X!

Right after I wrote that, I pressed a button on a new machine I designed to shoot off a bolt of lightning through the sky. Very impressive machine, for sure. I control the weather, time, space! I control everything!

Yep, life’s been good since I tricked Hunter into getting me that Command Block. What a useful device! First, I made myself a few chests full of diamonds and emeralds. It got to be so many; I had to make a mansion just to house them all. After that, I buffed up my lab to be a huge underground maze full of mansions, chests, mines, mobs, and more! Hehehe! Has there ever been a more powerful man in history than me!?

No.

And to think, I got all this stuff in hopes of getting some dinky record! I still didn’t even bother making one of those rare records yet. Who cares when I have all this power!

Mwuahahahe!

Oh yeah, I need to record the outcome of the trials.

After I installed the giant water bottle in his cage, Trapper the Ocelot forgot that real jungle cats don’t suckle from a silly bottle. I guess he had no other option, but now he’s a hamster! I’ve put him in a ball! Hahaha!

I always wanted a pet hamster, but my parents wouldn’t let me get one. Well, now who’s having the last laugh! I am because I’m torturing a cat into thinking it’s a hamster!

What happened to Hunter you ask? Oh, that’s the best part. I have sent Hunter in another dimension! Yes, I still had the Master Command Block and I didn’t want it to go to waste. I tricked the ocelot into thinking Hunter’s in the cell next to him. Hehe.

I recorded a new record…entirely of Hunter’s screams! How delightful! Now, the ocelot thinks his pal is right next to him and that one day, they can plan an escape! But nope, that will never happen! Hunter’s lost in the very fabric of the universe!

Yes, having unlimited power really is the way to go. I’d recommend it to anyone. I have all the precious jewels, all the blocks I want, any materials I need to craft whatever I want! I’m practically a Creator myself!

I even learned how to use my Command Block to do amazing things like fly, shoot fire, superhero stuff—but the difference is, I’m a super villain!

Now, you might be reading these notes and wondering where the scientific data is. THERE IS NO DATA! DATA IS BORING! Instead, you got to see the truth of power—the File X is a document of pain and suffering for all who are not me! Muwahaha!


And now, I will give you a taste of what is to come, for my loyal servant STAN-BOT 9000 is such a great robot, I’ve decided to use my unlimited resources to make him even more powerful. I’m going to craft a giant robot suit! One that reaches the limits of the sky! And with that suit, he will be the strongest robot in the universe!

Muwhahaha!


Day 63 - Dragon Braggin’ - Belinda the Witch


With the crew back together the Good Ship Belinda Witch is back asunder! We’re cruising through the Nether and back to the Overworld.

“What say ye, skipper Spits?” I asked my loyal spider companion. “Do you think we’ll be able to beat the STAN-BOT Army and save Hunter?”

The spider shrugged with all eight of its legs. It thought for a second, and then nodded a firm, “No.”

“No!” I gasped, “Why not?”

Spits is incredibly good at making web murals. It’s quite the talent. He quickly weaved a mural of our ship getting taken out by robots, burned straight from the sky with their laser vision. The web-picture was so detailed! Spits himself was getting crushed by a giant robot foot. Bones and Todd Jr. were getting picked apart, bone by bone. I was thrown against a rock wall and flattened like a pancake. It was a really gruesome scene. I couldn’t believe how much thought he’d put into this. But, he made a good point…

“What are we gonna do if everybody we know isn’t enough!” I cried, realizing that it was Hunter and Trapper that really made our combat team shine. Of course they couldn’t fight with us, since they’re captured and the entire reason we’re fighting in the first place. “So what do we do?”

Spits erased his first mural then started in on a second one. This time, he drew up a big picture of The End. In it, you could see the Ender Dragon sitting in his big crater and crying. You may remember, Hunter’s Diary, that we met this dragon once before. He was a big cry baby and he didn’t want to fight us because he was sick of getting beaten up all the time (reasonable). Spits started pointing frantically at the dragon. I understood. We need heavy artillery.

“Change courses!” I shouted, “We’re going to the End!”

“Aye aye, sir!” shouted Todd Jr. He’s not the navigator, but it’s the thought that counts.

“Psh!” Bones said, waving a fattened arm bone at the tiny skeleton. What’s with those two?

We soared through the sky and made our way out to the furthest reaches of the End. There were stars, floating asteroids, Endermen as far as the eye could see, and those Purpur blocks littering the ground like magenta trash.

“There he is!” I called, pointing toward the big, black and green dragon. We pulled up right above him. I cupped my hands and shouted down to the big monster. “Hey Dragon! Wake up, I got something to ask you!”

“Oh no…” The dragon immediately got scared, tears welled up in his eyes and he started breathing really heavy, “You didn’t come to beat me up, did you!”

“Nope! We need your help beating somebody else up!” I called back. “There’s an evil genius with a robot army and a magic creating block we gotta stop. We’re not gonna win unless we bring in some heavy artillery and you’re it!”


“Nope!” said the dragon, standing up all tall, “I am most certainly not it. I’m not a fighter! I’m a lover!”

“You’re a dragon!” I protested, “You’re built for fighting. Your whole reason for being is to provide a good fight! Don’t give me that junk!” All my crew was standing at the deck of the ship cheering me on. Plenty of explorers have beaten the dragon before, but nobody ever yelled at him and told him what to do. I felt pretty brave even though I know this scaredy-cat would never fight back.

“I don’t fight and that’s final!” the dragon said, then shoved his head in a pile of rocks.

“If you don’t help us…” I threatened, “I’m gonna beat you up! You don’t know how bad my acid potions hurt until I start pouring them all over you!” I pulled a jar from my cloak and the crew cheered. “Burn.His. Scales! Burn.His. Scales!” they chanted.

“Go ahead and do it then!” the dragon cried, his tears pouring from the cracks between the rock. “I don’t care! Do your worst!”

I felt too bad hurting a defenseless dragon like that. Plus, if we pour a bunch of acid on him now, what use is he gonna be when we go fight the STAN-BOTs.

“How about this, Dragon…” I offered, “What if I give you a Sheepie snack…” The dragon’s head shot out of the rock pile.

“What’s a Sheepie snack?” said Todd Jr.

“Well uh…pretty much just tasty sheep,” I answered.

“Two Sheepie snacks!” said the dragon.

“OK! I’ll do you one better, I’ll give you two sheepies now, and two sheepies after all the robots are fried. And you don’t have to even fight! Just reign down some fire and blast the robots, smash up their hide out, cause a general sense of terror, you know, dragon stuff!”

“I hate that kinda thing,” the dragon lamented, “But I do love me some Sheepie snacks!”

“Crew!” I ordered, “Go throw some sheep in the dragon’s mouth! And sheer them first, no use wasting good wool.” Two zombies grabbed some sheep and tossed them right down to the dragon’s snout. He caught them like candies.

“Yum yum!” he sighed, “I haven’t had a Sheepie Snack in ages! I ate all the sheep on the End, so I’ve just been fantasizing about them.” The dragon flew up into the air and came close to the ship. The crew backed up instinctively since most dragons are horrifying monsters who really scare ya.

“There’s more where that came from, Dragon,” I told him, “…just follow along with us and you’ll be sure to get them. Now, to the Ocelot Island! This Record Man Stan’s terror has gone on too long!”

With a dragon in tow, we flew straight back to the Over World. With a dragon on our side, I feel a lot better about our chances.


Day 64 - Skeleton vs. Skeleton - Todd Jr.


Why hello, Hunter’s Diary, it’s me the Wither Skeleton Boy, Todd Jr.

I’m a skeleton whose bones are black and I swab the decks on Belinda’s flying pirate ship. She rescued me from the Nether after my father, Todd Sr. smashed up a bunch of stuff with a really big bone club. He’s strong. I’m even stronger. Dad said I’d make a wonderful warrior one day, before he got eaten alive by a Wither.

Sad.

But I’ve adjusted okay! I really love my life as a sky pirate. I have a great friend in Belinda, and Spits has really taken a liking to me. He lets me ride his back and have a lot of fun swinging around on his webs. Plus, we go on crazy adventures! I can’t wait to meet this Hunter everybody’s talking about.

Yeah, life sure was peachy until…Well, until that awful, fat skeleton Bones came around. Get a load of this guy! He just comes in here and starts smacking me around, telling me that he’s the only skeleton to mount Spits on this flying pirate ship, and that when I’m least expecting it he’s gonna drop me into a big pool of lava! What a creep!

I didn’t want to fight the guy, but he practically forced me to do it. Either that, or get bullied by him for however much longer!

“I’m gonna win, Bones,” I said, “I’m warning you. Just leave me alone. Be my friend. You don’t want to go through with this.”

“Oh, you better believe I’m going through with this,” Bones said, brandishing his big, bone skeleton sword. Bones was somehow fat now. I don’t know how a skeleton gets fat, didn’t even think it was possible. But looking at the big chunky bones of…Bones, I knew life didn’t go his way.

“Alright, this is gonna be your standard pirate fight,” Belinda shouted, “Pirate rules. Whoever falls of the ship first is the loser. Don’t slay each other. We’ve got a war to fight soon and we can’t lose anybody to some petty rivalry.”

“If I win, I want Todd kicked off the ship!” Bones shouted.

“Not gonna happen,” Belinda said, “But if you win, you can have Todd’s dinner tonight, how’s that sound?”

“Mmm, good actually,” Bones replied.

“Hey! I didn’t agree to that!” I whined.

“Then you can have a week’s worth of Bones dinners!” Belinda said.

“I don’t want two dinners! I’m fine with one dinner. Don’t wanna get…uh…like Bonesy over there,” I tried to be polite about it.

“Hey! I heard that!” Bones called.

“Just throw the dinners away in front of him or something. Put dirt all over them. You know this tubby will still eat them, ain’t that right Bones!” Belinda laughed. The rest of the crew laughed too. I was definitely the preferred favorite.


“Ready…set…fight!” Belinda screamed.

I sprang into action. I wasn’t going to let this creep get an attack of opportunity on me. I tackled him to the ground, but was stopped in my tracks by his massive denseness.

“My wife left me!” he cried, and started swinging his bone club. We each got to pick one weapon (pirate rules) and he was intent on crushing me. Not gonna happen.

I back flipped and launched off my bone-stars—they’re like ninja stars, but they’re made of sharpened bone. They landed right in Bones’ arms and legs.

“Argh!” he screamed, “My wife left and you stole my partner!” He was enraged, totally unfazed by the death stars in his extremities. He came lunging again with his big bone club, smashing holes in the deck of the ship.

“Watch the ship! Come on! Stop!” Belinda pleaded.

I darted between Bones’ legs. I got behind him and put him in a bear-hold. “I didn’t make your wife leave and I didn’t tell you to not travel the skies with Spits!” I pulled harder. I could feel the bones popping out of their sockets. “Just give up!” I pleaded.

“Never!” Bones screamed. He lunged forward. Bad choice. I was left holding his arms, ripped right off his torso. “Uh…Stop hitting yourself!” I screamed, smacking him around with his own arms.

“I’ll beat you!” Bones screamed, soaring through the air with a kung-fu kick. I dodged it effortlessly. His foot got stuck in the wall of the cabin. “Uh-oh,” he said. I ran over and knocked his leg off with two chops from both his arms.

Now, he was hopping around on one leg, frothing at the mouth like a dog. He looked like a maniac. “Come on dude…” I begged, “Just give up.”

“Never!” he started hopping at me. I took my last bone star and threw it at his head; it went soaring off the pirate ship. I told this dude he shouldn’t have messed with me.

“What kind of ninja is named Todd Jr.!” he screamed as his head rocketed through the air, falling off the boat, almost crashing to the ground—but was saved, just in the nick of time, by good ol’ Spits the Spider.

“Why did you abandon me, Spits!” Bones cried, “Why did you choose a new skeleton over me!”

Belinda picked up Bones’ head and jammed it back on his torso. “Nobody abandoned you, ya big lug! Well, I guess your wife did. But we’re not you’re wife, so quit your belly aching!”

“I’ll help rebuild him,” I offered, “I’ll make him stronger. I can use this as an opportunity to make a new Bones, one that will most certainly help us win this upcoming battle.”

“Yeah do that,” Belinda said, “But hurry up because we’re approaching upon the Ocelot Island! There it is me mates! Land ho!”

The island was cloaked in a cloud of fog. I picked up all the pieces of Bones’ bones and brought them into the fold. Now it’s time to show this skeleton how great a bone warrior can truly be!


Day 65 - Island Invasion - Belinda the Witch


Our ship, the dragon and all the crew was ready to fight the second we saw the island.

Seems like the Record Man Stan has destroyed his home island. It’s called Ocelot Island, but I didn’t see one ocelot on it. There weren’t any houses, stores, parks, nothing… Everything looked freshly destroyed, like Stan’s whole purpose in getting the Command Block was taking over the island without any concern for the animals and other living things that lived there. The fiend!

“Careful everyone,” I instructed, “We don’t know where the robots and what their powers are.”

But we could take a solid guess. In the middle of the island was a gigantic skull. What is it about skull-shaped hideouts? It seems like all villains want to do their bidding from inside a big skull.

“How dare they disrespect skulls like that!” Todd Jr. called out to me.

“I thought you were fixing Bones!” I reminded him.

“I am. I just have to wait for the metal to set…” he said suspiciously. Hmm. Wonder what that means.

Right as we got close to the skull, an alarm sounded. Giant lasers shot into the air! Looks like we set off a trap. “Get ready!” I screamed, pulling out my strongest potions from my robe. I knew this was going to be a fight where we needed to pull out all the stops.

A hundred robots ran from the skeleton’s mouth, flew out of its eyes, crawled from the holes in its nose. The robots were all different kinds. Some were humanoid looking, others had huge saws for hands, and a few were just giant, walking hammers.

“Attack!” I screamed, throwing down my acid potions on one of the saw-bots. It melted into a puddle of metal.

First, the End Dragon got ready for a blast. He torched as much of the island as possible, setting off a fire that couldn’t be put out—it kept spreading and spreading. Then, he swooped down and started getting at the core of the hideout. The robots retaliated. They shot swords out of a sword-cannon at the dragon, and he was pierced with all kinds of weaponry. The End dragon was making horrible moaning sounds.

“Are Sheepie Snacks worth this much pain!” he lamented. The End dragon proved to be a valuable ally in this fight, however.

The zombies manned the cannons, shooting off TNT blocks into the skull-hideout. The explosions set off other explosions inside the place and it looked like the skull was a flame-skull now. It would have made a really sweet tattoo—and as a pirate captain, I needed to write this down because I wanted to get some cool tattoo to show off my tough-captain credibility.

But there was no time!


Spits had swung into action from the ship, holding onto the thread of a web. He was smacking the baddies around with his eight legs, while simultaneously weaving a huge web net so he could throw them into the trap.

It seemed like there was no end in sight to the robots. Todd Jr. ran up to me and told me that Bones was ready to go, but I needed to use him as a last ditch effort. Then, the Wither Skeleton jumped down to the battle field with all kinds of ninja-skeleton weapons. He threw more bone-stars, landing shots right into the robot’s red stone control panels. They blew up in spectacular fashion. He used a bone sword to cut off the robots head, more explosions sparking throughout the battlefield. Todd Jr. was a madman, and this is why I had him as my swabbie. If you ever run a pirate ship, make sure the boy who cleans the decks is actually your best fighter; it’s great for the element of surprise.

The robots brought out another cannon of their own—this one shot robots themselves! They blasted a bunch of bots right on the deck of the ship and the first thing they did was set the ship aflame! Everything was burning. It was no longer Ocelot Island, but rather Flame Skull Island featuring Crashing Flying Pirate Ship!

My beautiful vessel crashed to the ground, “Abandon ship!” I screamed, as I jumped off chucking potions on my way down. I chugged a few too, making me practically invincible, fully invisible, and ready to defeat the robots!

On the ground, I finally saw what we were really up against, because the middle of the island cracked open like some sort of egg. Emerging from the hole was a sight of true terror! It was a giant robot over 100 feet tall! What in the world.

“ALL OF YOU, CEASE YOUR ATTACK AND STAND READY TO PERISH! I AM THE UN-DEFEAT-ABLE STAN-BOT 9000!” said the robot. What a nerd! No way are we just gonna stand here and get walloped.

The dragon flew at him head on, clawing at his massive head. He blasted flames, swooped down and gave it his best, but the Massive STAN-BOT 9000 just swatted the End Dragon away like some big fly. This isn’t good.

It’s time now, I thought. “Unleash the secret weapons!” I screamed, “Enter: METAL BONES!”

While he attacks the giant robot head on, we can sneak into the hideout and free our friends. I sure hope Todd’s plan works, because this metal robot sure seems like an impossible foe!


Day 65 - NOBLE STAN-BOT’S LAST STAN’D - STAN-BOT 9000


ATTENTION! ALL ROBOTS! THE ISLAND IS UNDER ATTACK!

I WILL USE MY EYES AND EARS TO TELL YOU WHAT’S HAPPENING. WE CANNOT LET THESE INTRUDERS DESTROY THE ISLAND. THIS MUCH IS CLEAR. WE MUST DEFEND OUR MASTER, RECORD MAN STAN!

LAUNCH AN ALL OUT ASSAULT!

FIRST, WE SHALL POUR OUT ALL OUR TROOPS. WE NEED TO DEAL WITH THE GIANT ENDER DRAGON THAT’S DESTROYING OUR ROBOTS! NOW THEY ARE SHOOTING CANNONS AT THE SKULL FORTRESS?! AND THEY ARE SENDING DOWN A SKELETON NINJA TO DEAL WITH OUR BOTS?!

THIS WILL NOT STAND.

RECORD MAN STAN, IN HIS INFINITE WISDOM, HAS CREATED A MECHA-SUIT THAT CAN ONLY BE PILOTED BY MY EPIC BRAIN. A MECHA SUIT IS A ROBOT THAT’S OVER 1000 FEET TALL. IT’S A MASSIVE MACHINE THAT CAN STOP AND SMASH PRACTICALLY ANYTHING. WE PROBABLY SHOULDN’T USE IT HERE ON THE ISLAND BECAUSE IT WILL DESTROY MOST EVERYTHING. BUT IT IS THE ONLY CHANCE FOR VICTORY!

IF ANY FUTURE ROBO-TROOPS ARE READING THIS THEN HERE IS HOW THE MECHA SUIT IS ARMED.

FIRST, I REMOVED THE DETACHABLE HEAD FROM MY TEN FOOT BODY. IT IS A SAD THING TO LOSE ONE’S BODY (I SHOULD KNOW) BUT I AM TRADING UP FOR A BODY ONE HUNDRED TIMES MY SIZE. THIS IS A GOOD THING!

MY HEAD IS THEN PLACED IN THE MECHA-MACHINE. I AM ARMED INTO THE CHEST OF THE GIANT ROBOT. THIS IS WHERE THE MECHA-SUIT IS MOST VULNERABLE, HOWEVER THIS DOESN’T MATTER FOR WE HAVE REINFORCED THE CHEST WITH DIAMOND BLOCKS—NOTHING CAN STOP THE MECHA-MADNESS.

NEXT, THE SUIT EMERGES FROM THE LAUNCHING PAD IN THE MIDDLE OF THE ISLAND. RECORD-MAN STAN ONCE TOLD ME TO NEVER USE THE SUIT FOR ANYTHING OTHER THAN AERIEL COMBAT—HOWEVER, HE DID NOT KNOW ABOUT THE IMPENDING PIRATE SHIP ATTACK, SO I HOPE HE FORGIVES ME.

I CAME OUT OF THE HOLE READY TO FIGHT. FIRST, I SAW THE DRAGON. HE HAS PROVEN TO BE A GREAT OBSTACLE IN OUR PATH. I SMASHED HIM INTO THE GROUND WITH ONE POWERFUL HIT. THE DRAGON IS DOWN.

I SEE THAT THE PIRATE SHIP HAS ALREADY BEEN SANK. ITS SMOLDERING REMAINS HAVE CRASHED INTO THE DIRT. HAHA! WE ARE PRACTICALLY VICTORIOUS!


HOWEVER, THERE IS ONE SMALL HICCUP IN THIS PLAN—A METAL SKELETON HAS COME FORTH FROM THE SHIP. HE IS ONLY TEN FEET TALL, BUT HIS BONES ARE MADE OF IRON. PLUS, HE IS RIDING A METAL-SPIDER MOUNT THAT LOOKS LIKE A MOTORCYCLE. THIS DUDE ROCKS.

TOO BAD I’M GOING TO HAVE TO DESTROY HIM!

THE METAL SKELETON AND HIS METAL SPIDER CRAWLED UP MY LEG—EW, CREEPY—AND NOW HE’S HACKING AWAY AT THE KNEE JOINT OF MY SUIT. I WILL SHOW HIM! I SMASHED DOWN WITH MY ROCKET-POWERED WRISTS AND…

OUCH! I JUST HIT MYSELF IN THE KNEE! SHOULD HAVE SEEN THAT ONE COMING.

NOW HE’S CRAWLED UP AND IS HACKING AT THE OTHER LEG. OH BOY, HE’S REALLY MAKING IT HARD FOR MY ROBOT SUIT TO MOVE.

IF ANY ROBO-SOLDIERS OF THE FUTURE ARE READING THIS, REMEMBER TO STOP THE ASSAULT ON THE LEGS. BECAUSE I COULD NO LONGER MOVE THE MECH SUIT, I WAS FORCED TO LAUNCH AN ALL OUT MISSILE ASSAULT!

I BLASTED AS MANY TNT BLOCKS AS I COULD IN MY ARSENAL. THEY DIDN’T WORK. THE METAL SKELETON WAS UNFAZED BY THE MASSIVE EXPLOSIONS. HE KEPT CRAWLING UP MY BODY, AND NOW I WAS PUNCHING AT THE TORSO OF MY SUIT.

I KNEW, LOGICALLY, THAT THIS WAS A BAD IDEA, SINCE THIS WAS MY ONLY WEAK SPOT—BUT I COULD NOT TAKE THE THOUGHT OF LOSING TO A PITIFUL LITTLE BUG LIKE THIS METAL SKELETON!

I KEPT SMASHING AWAY AND FINALLY, THE SKELETON AND HIS METAL, FLYING SPIDER WERE IN THE MIDDLE OF MY MECH. HE FOUND MY HEAD! WHAT WOULD I DO, HE WAS GOING TO DESTROY MY PRECIOUS SUIT!

“Looks like it’s the end of the line, buddy. I never thought I’d say this but being made of metal is a much better existence if you want to fight to the finish.”

“SHUT UP!” I COMMANDED HIM. NOW, IT WAS TIME FOR THE EMERGENCY MANEUVER—THE DEATH SPIRAL TORNADO!

I USED ALL THE POWER OF MY SUIT TO START A HUGE VORTEX ON THE ISLAND. ALL THE OTHER ROBOTS GOT SUCKED INTO IT, AND I WAS ABLE TO USE THEIR PARTS TO POWER UP MY MECHA-SUIT. I WOULD NOT BE STOPPED! THIS IS IT. IT’S TIME FOR MY ASCENSION!

I FLEW UP INTO THE AIR AND THE METAL SKELETON SMASHED INTO THE WALLS OF THE CHEST-COCKPIT. HE IS GOING TO BE VERY SAD WHEN I DESTROY ALL OF HIS FRIENDS WITH THE END-LASER RAMPAGE!

ABOVE THE ISLAND, I STARTED RAINING DOWN THE PLAIN WITH FLAME LASERS. I HOPE MASTER STAN ISN’T MAD THAT I AM TORCHING WHAT IS LEFT OF THE ALREADY BURNING OCELOT ISLAND, AND THAT ALL THE LAND IS TURNING INTO OBSIDIAN THANKS TO THE BLAST. BUT I MUST ELIMINATE THESE FIENDS. I CANNOT ALLOW THEM TO DEFEAT US. IT IS TOO HUMILIATING.

THE ISLAND IS QUICKLY NEUTRALIZED. ALL OF THE ROBOTS ARE MELTED. I DO NOT SEE THE WITCH OR HER CREW OF PIRATE MOBS. I HAVE WON.

WHERE IS MASTER? I CANNOT REACH HIM?


HAS STAN-BOT 9000 PROVEN TO BE TOO POWERFUL? DID ALL OF MY RAGE DESTROY THAT WHICH I LOVED? AND ALSO, HOW DO I EXTERMINATE THE METAL SKELETON AND HIS METAL SPIDER COMPANION THAT ARE TRAPPED IN MY CHEST CAVITY…

I DIDN’T THINK THIS THROUGH, DID I…HMM… MECHA STAN-BOT 9000 IS FILLED WITH REGRET…


Day 65 - The Breakout! - Trapper


Trapper!” said Belinda the Witch, as the door melted in a mixture of acid and iron.

Belinda!” I chittered. I can’t talk, but I’m sure she knew what I meant. I was so happy to see her. And finally, I was outside of my cell without that sILLY ball.

We came as fast as we could! Where’s Hunter?” she asked. I ran over to the cell next door. We smashed down the door and…it was empty. It was just a record player, making the moaning sounds of screams.

Strange.

We kept going down the hallways and defeating whatever robots came in our view. I saw one of the Saw-Hand bots; this was a guy who really enjoyed humiliating me during Ocelot Soccer. I ran up to him and bent his arm joints, forcing him to saw open his own red-stone control panel. Haha! Stop hitting yourself.

I kept going. Here was a laser eye bot—so I climbed up his back and moved his head into position. I fired the lasers at every other robot in the hall. I melted them and watched the carnage begin.

I think Trapper’s gone a little nuts,” Belinda said.

A black Wither Skeleton ninja propositioned, “I think you might be right because…uh…he’s eating the remains of the robots he just killed.”

And that might have been true, Diary. I just was filled with rage. I have been imprisoned a bunch of times in my life now, and I gotta say, I hate it more and more each time. I think this time, I finally snapped.

We got into the great hall, but heard the thundering explosions outside. Something big had happened. All the robots around us were getting sucked up, magnetically, through a giant hole. They soared through the air as though they were being called to one massive source.

How strange, but also helpful since there were no more robots guarding the halls. Now, we just saw the sad state of Record Man Stan’s hideout. Ever since we brought him the Command Block, he’d used it for creating all sorts of junk—but it seemed like the dude didn’t have even one friend. There were portraits of him all over the walls, but never of anyone else. The dude had everything in the seed, but he didn’t have any brothers to share it with. I almost felt bad for him!

But like, I didn’t actually feel bad for him. He tried to drive me insane and make me think I was a hamster. I’m going to claw his eyes out the first chance I get.

And that chance didn’t seem too far off. We made our way to the master control panel room and in the middle was Record Man Stan, illuminated by the light of his command block.

Stan!” Belinda shouted, “It’s finished!”

Stan didn’t agree. He shot a laser blast at the witch and she flew back against the wall. She was prepared though, as she launched a potion at the evil genius before he could launch another attack. It was a potion of slowing, so he was pretty much immobilized.


Spits the spider got to work on making a huge web to trap this guy in. Good idea, Spits, we’re going to have to question him to find my best friend!

And then there’s this new guy, Todd Jr. This dude rules, huh? He’s a ninja! And he snuck up behind Stan and knocked the block right out of his hand. Then, he did a few kidney punches and the guy keeled over. He kicked him as hard as he could with a bony foot and got him stuck right in the spider web.

I ran over and grabbed the command block. Now, he’s practically defenseless.

Or is he?! In the web, he pulled out The Master Command Block!

Oh no, this can transport people to another dimension! This is what he used on Hunter, I’m sure of it. What can we do?

I sprang into action and used the regular Command Block to fly in the air. He started shooting inter-dimensional teleportation lasers from his box. Don’t want to get hit by those, or else you’ll never know where you’ll end up.

I zoomed in and blasted him one last time with the Command Block. He shook with terror as the lightning forced him to drop the box.

You’re done,” Belinda said, walking over to him and taking the box. She stared at her remaining crew members. All the zombies had burned up. There was just me, that Todd guy, and Spits—where’s Bones? I hope he’s ok.


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